I know I cannot possibly be objective here since I‘m neither Chinese nor in a relationship with a Chinese person. However, I do feel I should share some things I‘ve seen here, maybe simply because they appeared strange to me.
Recently I‘ve seen a post in the internet why Chinese girls would prefer 老外 instead of their own kind on chinaSMACK (http://www.chinasmack.com/2013/stories/differences-between-chinese-men-and-laowai-foreign-men.html). One of the claims (aside from all foreign men being into tricking Chinese girl, but I‘ll not comment on that) was that foreigners tend to treat women better. I would have disagreed on that until recently since I know some people in a relationship here and it‘s wonderful but I also met this guy I wanted to do language exchange with.
So when I went to meet him his girlfriend went with him (apparently because she didn‘t trust him to stay alone with a woman for that long) and yes, she was very shy but also a very pretty and sweet girl. However, whenever he spoke to me about her (in English, and she understood that, hell, he even translated it for her sometimes) he either called her troublemaker, dumb or fat. And that several times. Now again, just for the record, she was NOT either of those. But he kept ranting off about that.
So maybe the reason Chinese women don‘t wanna stay with their men is because they‘re downward rude. I mean seriously, no matter which country you‘re from, this shouldn‘t be a cultural thing but one of mere dignity. Don‘t treat your women like shit or they‘ll leave you. So I have no idea why some people would behave like that, however if that‘s the way many men do it then I might have found the source of their problem. I might add that he told me on the other hand the whole time how smart and beautiful I was. If I was in his girlfriend‘s shoes I‘d have killed him.
One other thing I‘m wondering about (again, not claiming to be objective here out of a lack of samples) is if Chinese people in relationships just tend to be ruder to each other in general. I heard roommate and her boyfriend fighting nearly every evening ever since I started living here. Just this time it would be the girl starting the fights (least she‘s always screaming at him first, I do not claim to understand their Chinese) and going on about stuff for hours until she gets him mad as well. Aside from the fact that they would drag this on till 11pm and pissing me off, they‘d piss each other off so much that at least twice a week she‘d leave the house crying (which is for me the better solution, sometimes he leaves and then I‘d have to listen to the crying till 2am). Like I said, I have no idea if that‘s the way it works in general in China but if it is then maybe a lot of relationships don‘t work out because of one simple factor:
I would never treat the people I love in any of those ways above. I know there‘re people just as bad in the West but if it‘s really a cultural phenomenon then this should get fixed. Or Chinese girls will just search for somebody who treats them better and since 老外 are famous for that…
You get it.